This question is slowly becoming the most annoying question ever…almost more annoying than last year’s question ‘how is wedding planning going?‘. It’s the general conversation starter for most people that interact with me and I don’t always know how to answer it. It’s almost like when someone asks ‘How are you?‘ You never know if the person genuinely cares and wants to hear the truth: how much life sucks right now and you wish you could swap lives with Beyonce? (That isn’t me by the way 😄) the generic response of ‘I’m fine’.
Luckily, I’m blessed to be surrounded by many people that actual care about my wellbeing, but it doesn’t stop the question from being annoying lol. In this instance, my auto response would be ‘it’s fine‘ but they want to hear more and that’s where I get stuck. I’m generally quite a closed and private person and really don’t like my business out there so I’m not one to start telling the world about the details of my marriage unless it’s absolutely necessary. So to appease those concerned, I add a little more: ‘It’s a transition, definitely a different experience but I’m getting used to it.’. That response seems to do the trick a lot. I just keep thinking, it’s only been just under four months since I got married so it’s still very early to analyse, (someone actually asked me that question two days after my wedding!😒) maybe when I get to that six-month mark I’d have much more to say when I’ve had time to adjust and really observe….
Enough of me sounding grumpy lol. But on a serious note, although it is still very early, it is COMPLETELY different to when we were just dating or even when we were engaged. So thought I’d list a few since I keep getting asked 😃
Getting used to sharing your space
I’m an only child with typical ‘only child syndrome’ (that’s a post for another day), I’m generally very protective of my personal space and I love me some me-time. So getting used to being around one person constantly was definitely something I had to get used to as I’m not generally good at it and I get irritated after a while. Funnily enough, call it love or whatever, but I could be around my hubby from morning till night and his presence doesn’t bug me at all. But once in a while I may disappear to another room just to get some time to myself to read, watch a show or write. I find it quite healthy.
Learning to cope with each other’s habits
As compatible as we may be, it doesn’t mean we will be completely alike. We grew up in two different homes in two different continents so we were bound to have different living habits i.e. I like the toilet roll to go under while he prefers it to go over and we’re constantly changing it to suit our preferences, even though I think I’m winning hehe.
Realising that the ‘personal’ decisions you make may no longer just affect you
Now that we’ve literally become one, I’m making a conscious effort to bear him in mind whenever I’m making any choices from planning a vacation and thinking if his work schedule will fit in, letting him know if I’m running late so he doesn’t worry about me, to craving a snack and thinking of whether he might one too. I still have a life, and I’m not controlled thankfully but it’s no longer completely about me no matter any more. Good to get used to it now before the children come along right?
Now I don’t care whether it’s happy weight, new marriage weight or whatever people call it but I don’t like it. I’m constantly told that I look very fresh and ‘healthy’ but what I know is my clothes are getting tighter and that’s not cool. So I’m on a mission to lose a few pounds before it all comes back with pregnancy, which leads me to my final point for now…
Everyone’s waiting for you to get pregnant
It’s literally like all eyes are on me now. Why wouldn’t they be? I’ve just got married, the next thing is pregnancy right? Noooooooo! Of course I want kids, they’re a beautiful blessing, but in my own time and not when everyone else dictates. There’s hardly any tact with it either, I hear ‘hurry up and have those babies’ or ‘don’t waste time o, better give him children sharply’. That wouldn’t exactly be nice to hear if I’d be trying for a while but to no avail…just saying. It’s generally coming from a good place but yeah, still not something I’ve gotten used to hearing yet or want to get used to.
These are a few differences I’ve observed so far, there are probably are a few more but I’m not able to articulate it yet. But to sum it up, we’re just two besties around each other 24/7, that’s probably the best and easiest way for me to describe it. We’re just starting, dealing with whatever life throws our way and we have a long beautiful journey ahead of us.
So next time someone asks me ‘How is married life?’ I should probably just forward the link to this post right? Hahaha. One can’t keep repeating the same thing over and over and OVER again…lol.
Have you just recently got married? Let me know below if you can relate or you have some other differences you’ve observed in your marriage 😊